Joanne Gilhooly - Psychotherapist & Counsellor - Dublin City
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Dublin Counselling and Psychotherapy Blog
Dublin Counselling and Psychotherapy Blog
|Posted on May 16, 2014 at 4:21 PM||comments (620)|
“When people start to meditate or work with any spiritual discipline, they often think that somehow they’re going to improve, which is a sort of subtle aggression against who they really are...loving kindness doesn't mean getting rid of anything. [It] means that we can still be crazy after all these years. We can still be angry after all these years. We can still be timid or jealous or full of feelings of unworthiness. The point is not to try to throw ourselves away and become something better. It’s about befriending who we are already. The ground of practice is you or me or whoever we are right now, just as we are. That’s the ground....that’s what we know with tremendous curiosity and interest.”
~ Pema Chodron The Wisdom of No Escape and the Path of Loving Kindness
|Posted on April 6, 2014 at 6:58 PM||comments (1153)|
Vulnerability isn't good or bad: it's not what we call a dark emotion, nor is it always a light positive experience. Vulnerability is the core of all emotions and feelings. To feel is to be vulnerable. To believe vulnerability is weakness is to believe that feeling is weakness. To foreclose on our emotional life out of a fear that the costs will be too high is to walk away from the very thing that gives purpose and meaning to living.
~ Brene Brown, Daring Greatly.
|Posted on February 9, 2014 at 6:06 AM||comments (761)|
Change occurs when one becomes what she is, not when she tries to become what she is not.
~ Arnold Bessier
|Posted on February 9, 2014 at 5:54 AM||comments (1786)|
Start where you are...
Use what you have...
Do what you can
~ Arthur Ashe
We all have challenging days, so here is a three step check-in that might be useful when it feels like its all getting too much:
1. Slow down and check in with yourself. What's happening for you right now? What are your thoughts? Your feelings? What's happening in your body?
Are you stressed and tense? Frustrated? Anxious?
Notice where you feel the tension, anxiety etc.
Be kind to yourself, no matter what your experience is right now.
2. Notice your breathing. Is it fast or slow? Deep or shallow?
Just notice it...
Stay with it for a minute or two, and notice if it changes. There is no need to try to change it, just notice if it changes by itself. If it doesn't change, that's fine too.
3. Ask yourself what you can do to help yourself right now. Just listen to yourself - what can you do? Try to leave aside the things you can't do, and focus on what you can do.
|Posted on November 6, 2013 at 12:00 PM||comments (1680)|
"Don't turn away. Keep looking at the bandaged place. That's where the light enters you."
|Posted on October 26, 2013 at 12:50 PM||comments (1350)|
|Posted on October 20, 2013 at 2:39 PM||comments (2210)|
A quietish space, just a few minutes from the practice in Dublin City Centre. Great for taking a bit of time out to reflect after a counselling/psychotherapy session, during daylight hours at least.
Periods of reflection are important, whether it is after a session, after a tough day at work, a long day with the kids, or just when you need a bit of headspace. People reflect in different ways, whether it is a period of mindfulness, going for a walk or a cycle, writing a few notes in a journal, or simply finding a quiet space to be away from it all. What matters is what works for you.
So, how do you reflect? What helps you to connect with what's happening for you?
|Posted on October 16, 2013 at 11:40 AM||comments (842)|
“Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”
~ Carl Jung
|Posted on October 2, 2013 at 11:29 AM||comments (867)|
There are two main types of humanistic psychotherapies that I draw on and they are Gestalt therapy and Person-centred psychotherapy. The main tenet of these therapies is that the counselling or psychotherapy client knows best what is right for them. My job is help you get in touch with your ‘inner expert’.
They are respectful therapies in that they take quite an egalitarian approach, believing that the best way to support the client is to be a fellow traveller, a fellow human being (as though that can be avoided!),and they are less about wearing the ‘professional hat’ than they are about‘being there’, and accompanying another person while they navigate their way through their personal journey.
It might sound a bit like something you could get from a good friend (and you may well get solid support from a friend), but there are differences. The main one that comes to mind is that the psychotherapist who is trained in a humanistic way is skilled in listening at a deep level. In practice that means that I am aware of communication on different levels in the counselling room. While I am listening to the content of what you are saying, I am also listening for patterns, for what is not said, and for any shifts or changes that seem to occur in you as you tell me about what is going on for you.
These patterns and shifts can help me to help you get in touch with what may be happening for you at a deeper level. Very often when people come for counselling or psychotherapy they are very much in contact with what is happening in the ‘head’ (their thinking) but less in contact with what is happening at a deeper ‘feeling’ level. This is so common, and is very similar to my own experience when I started psychotherapy during my training. It took quite a while for me to get the hang of listening to my body and to my feelings and it is still a work in progress, as I suspect it will remain.
Feelings can be scary to get in touch with mainly because they are unknown territory, and we may not yet know how to regulate them. That is, we have not yet had enough experience with feelings to know that they cannot harm us – quite the opposite, they can take us on a journey into ourselves and can be very instrumental in helping us to find our voice and put words on our unique experience. Just like getting to know anything new, it takes time to become accustomed to our feelings as they arise, for them to become less the scary monster and more a great source of information about ourselves. This is a natural process that occurs over time with support from an experienced listener.
Why we didn’t get this experience with our feelings may or may not become apparent, but either way, we can do the work of getting to know our feelings and learning to voice them in a way that feels ok to us. That can help us to communicate with others more clearly and more authentically about what we feel and what we want. The effect of this is that we may feel more satisfied and engaged in life as we speak out, get involved, and more confidently take our place in our lives and our relationships.
|Posted on August 25, 2013 at 4:44 PM||comments (1184)|
"The cool water of the running stream may be scooped up with open, overflowing palms. It cannot be grasped up to the mouth with clenching fists, no matter what thirst motivates our desperate grab"
~ Sheldon Kopp, If You Meet the Buddha on the Road Kill Him!